Mark twain funny quotes
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Autobiography of Mark Twain Quotes
“We met a great many other interesting people, among them Lewis Carroll, author of the immortal "Alice"--but he was only interesting to look at, for he was the silliest and shyest full-grown man I have ever met except "Uncle Remus.”
― Mark Twain, Autobiography of Mark Twain: Volume 1, Reader's Edition
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“Look at the tyranny of party-- at what is called party allegiance, party loyalty-- a snare invented by designing men for selfish purposes-- and which turns voters into chattels, slaves, rabbits; and all the while, their masters, and they themselves are shouting rubbish about liberty, independence, freedom of opinion, freedom of speech, honestly unconscious of the fantastic contradiction; and forgetting or ignoring that their fathers and the churches shouted the same blasphemies a generation earlier when they were closing thier doors against the hunted slave, beating his handful of humane defenders with Bible-texts and billies, and pocketing the insults nad licking the shoes of his Southern master.”
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Mark Twain
1835-1910
Who Was Mark Twain?
Mark Twain, whose real name was Samuel Clemens, was the celebrated author of several novels, including two major classics of American literature: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. He was also a riverboat pilot, journalist, lecturer, entrepreneur, and inventor.
Quick Facts
FULL NAME: Samuel Langhorne Clemens
BORN: November 30, 1835
DIED: April 21, 1910
BIRTHPLACE: Florida, Missouri
SPOUSE: Olivia Langdon (1870-1904)
CHILDREN: Langdon, Susy, Clara, Jean
ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Sagittarius
Early Life
Mark Twain was born Samuel Langhorne Clemens in the tiny village of Florida, Missouri, on November 30, 1835, the sixth child of John and Jane Clemens. When he was 4 years old, his family moved to nearby Hannibal, a bustling river town of 1,000 people.
John Clemens worked as a storekeeper, lawyer, judge and land speculator, dreaming of wealth but never achieving it, sometimes finding it hard to feed his family. He was an unsmiling fellow; according to one legend, young Sam never saw his
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
- Notebook, 1898
Such is life, and the trail of the serpent is over us all.
- The Innocents Abroad
We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
- Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 1 (2010)
Each person is born to one possession which outvalues all his others- his last breath.
- "Pudd'nhead Wilson's New Calendar"
Don't put too much faith in the passing stranger. This life is full of uncertainties, and every episode in life, figuratively speaking is just a frog. You want to watch every exigency as you would a frog, and don't you ever bet a cent on it until you know whether it is loaded or not.
- Morals Lecture, 15 July 1895
Oh Death where is thy sting! It has none. But life has.
- Notebook, 1894
He had arrived at that point where presently the illusions would cease and he would have entered upon the realities of life, and God help the man that has arrived at that point.
- Jack Van Nostrand speech, 22 December 1905
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